Deplete.

I'm a very emotional person, and I do this thing that bugs the Hell out of me. I can pinpoint exactly what I'm feeling at any given moment. Sadness, joy, heartache, happiness, fear, terror, helplessness, hopefulness... So, I'm good in that way. I know how I'm feeling. Here's the crap part: I don't always know why. My spirit works in such a way that the emotions come first, sometimes long before the reason for them. Here's the other crap part: it's very difficult for me to hide what I'm feeling. If it's not on my face, it's in my body language, or in my tone of voice. If you know me really well, you will know how I'm feeling- sometimes before I do. However, you're not always going to know why, and neither will I. And even if I do know why, I'm not always going to tell you what's up with me, cuz I gotta keep things interesting. There are folks that have given up on me because of these traits. They see my emotions as...

I'm a words person. I love words. I love their power. I love their meaning. I have a running narrative going through my mind at all times. I will often find myself mouthing song lyrics for no apparent reason, or saying quotes aloud, or reciting poems at random moments. It can be an annoying trait to some, because it can be difficult to interrupt what's going on in my head. And I talk to myself often, which then makes me laugh at myself. On April 10th, we had to put our beloved dog to sleep. It's been 11 days since he died. In those 11 days, I've had a plethora of words on death swirling around in my head. I have told myself that I need to get them out. I need to write, I need to talk about them. I need to deplete. Yet, I haven't been able to. I have found it difficult to grab on to those words, put them in the palm of my hand, and identify them. My dog's death sparked an unexpected amount of emotion about my mother's death, which was over 2 yea...

I've been training since early January for a half marathon. 13.1 miles. This particular half marathon is the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini Marathon. It's sort of a kick-off event for all the events in May that lead up to the Indianapolis 500 at the end of the month. This is my 2nd time doing this half marathon. My first time was in 2010, so it's been 7 years. I'm 7 years older, and I have had 2 more children in that time. My body is different. My pace is different. My stride is different. I've participated in several 5k's in that 7 year time period...probably more than I can remember. 5k's are good because they keep you running. They keep your mind in the space where it needs to be as a runner: always thinking about getting your miles in. My training since January has led me to some pretty strong conclusions about running, and about me as a runner. First, I'm not 30 anymore. I'm 7 years older than I was when I completed my first h...